Growing up watching shahrukh movies and all the impossible bollywood scenarios where people travel half around the globe to meet their love, fight with the parents to get married to the person they love, oh…. How I believed that these were all true…
Yet I always have had those silly high school types of relationships that go nowhere, leave you half empty at night while you fall asleep lustfully thinking about them until the feeling dissipates and the fluttering in your heart fades….when your body blossoms into womanhood, its probably just the lust which attracts the guys first…cant complain…
And then we become a bit more matured after the first heart break and try to run after those keypoints which we didn’t find with the first person… I mean how stupid are we….still not realizing tht we are in search for something else… but we kinda get comfortable with what comes our way and just settle in for it…well there are truly other things which matter which we realize later…
The first heart break…the second one and the ones that follow…we curse ourselves for falling into these relationships…we hate the world for being so cruel to us…we hate those movies which portrayed that every love story has a good ending…lol….
But in reality, these were experiences which helped us grow,mature and realize that we were looking for something else.. we were trying to portray ourselves as something we were not, to grab attention, to make ourselves look appealing to others… to fake and try to like something which we actually hate doing …and then one day, that someone walks into our lives…just the perfect one we wanted for ourselves.. not tht he should have the six packs and the prominent features and the killing dashing looks… but just tht he is perfect for us….why??? coz he cares for us just how we wanted , he loves us just how we wanted to be loved, he looks at us and we melt away, he holds us and we feel we can face the world together cme what may…he smiles at us and we know everythings gonna be ok….how lucky are those who finds this eternal peace in life….it is again taking us to the fantasy world we were in as a teenager..tells us tht the hero does travel half the globe if he needs to see u, he fights with his parents if he really wants to spend his life with u , he would treat u like a princess with all the love tht he has …and then the duo song plays again in the background, where we can move from the snow capped mountains to the ocean shores, from the sand dunes to the thick forestery…and we still don’t let go … so in love….
So how much of this is actually true…. I don’t know…. I really don’t know…
The feeling of love, it starts as a small seed planted in the pit of your stomach and each day, it grows and grows until your entire body is submerged in this indescribable feeling. But how much can someone love someone..or what can one do for another coz they are in love….
• Be together to share everything and anything in life….simply perfect…. How many are so lucky, so few we can count them on our hand….
• Not be together and still love each other…hmm this is an interesting situation… coz it has a lot of loops in it…
Distance separation due to work or family or whtever… and still be in as much love and awe for each other…could cry oneself to sleep so many countless nights, it hurts like hell, mentally as well as physically not having them around...There are some that say that “heartache” only exists as a metaphor but all who have gone through it know it is a real and existing pain.
Being in the same place but not being together..i don’t know family pressure, other resposnibilites…could be anything… but just to know that the other person loves you so much that they would wait for an eternity to be one with you….
You found ur perfect soulmate..the one who takes u higher, the one who appreciates u as the person u r , the one who reads and understands ur silence, the one with whom you can spend the rest of ur lifetime with… but cant be together with them ever… why ??? coz u found them so late in life…maybe after ur marriage…maybe after u became a mother , I don’t know… so what happens then…
We wait for an eternity to be with this one person…to shower all the love on this one person….and is it worth … oh hell yes… coz after all wht u have gone thru, ur questions were answered and ur wish fulfilled thru by meeting this one person…yet u cant afford to stay and be happy with this one person by neglecting and breaking all the bonds u hold in life with others… but u can afford to sacrifice ur whole life and choose not to be with this person coz u cant be selfish abt ur own self for this one single time… hmmm interesting….
If we love someone so much , we can afford to be killed for their happiness, to go thru hell, to see tht one smile on their face, to let them belong to someone else, if that’s where they find their sanctuary of peace lies…and not joking..if our love is true, we can really do this… we can be miles apart and feel the person just next to us, we might not see the person for years, but still have their face freshly engraved in front of ur eyes every morning u get up…we can be a better person thinking if he was with us, I would have been so…we can achieve everything as the only motivation u wanted is wht u have now ..the other persons unending love for u….
We all crave for recognition, for acceptance, for love…and when we don’t get it , we start knocking on all doors possible to get it…sometimes we are lucky … but most of the times we are not… and then we wait…until the cupid walks in….and shows you who you are meant to be with….but do we take tht step always??? sometimes we get so scared of wht happened with us in the past, we hesitate.. sometimes we are so sure but still reluctant to extend our hand towards the person, thinking he wld walk away just like the others…but if we don’t extend this hand,, how could we ever know…when u r born and enter this world, be sure that there is someone who was meant to be with u … if not now, maybe when u r 60 .. but in this journey of love, u will definitely meet him….be optimistic abt this…
When you love someone, and you love them with your heart, it never disappears when you are apart. And when you love someone and you've done all you can do, set them free, and if that love was true, it will all come back to you….you always get what you deserve..it might take time for the perfect gift to fall into ur lap..but not all grapes are low hanging.. the best ones are high up there and when they are ripe enough for you to sit back and enjoy, they will fall rightly when you are under it….
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Motherhood - a boon or a bane?
When do you become a complete woman…. I guess many people would say, when I have the perfect job, when I have my dreamt abt car, when I find the love of my life, when I become super rich…..no….Any woman with hardwork and a bit of luck can get all of this… but a woman is very special otherwise…coz according to the laws of nature… its just a woman who can bear a child and give birth to a new life…I think a marvelous thing to happen….so privileged abt it…have you ever seen a doctor do the test on a woman who is pregnant and when she looks into the screen and finds a tiny life within her , a heart beat within her.... a tear of happiness wld definitely drop...and when a mother hold her child after all the agony that she goes through to bring it out...the pain is forgotten in a split of a second when she looks into what she holds in her hand..the most delicate and the most precious little thing she will ever hold....you, as a woman are complete
And I look around and im amazed by how this blessing is used, misused and spoilt .
Lets take some situations….
A couple who is married and plans for a child …. But not blessed with one… the woman’s mind is like a turmoil every single moment she lives… coz she knows she is not going to bear a child in her womb ever in this life..she is not going to be happy as every other woman can be…she cannot hold her baby close to her body and be a proud mother….be a complete woman…
A couple , happily married, has children, looks after them , make them responsible enough to lead an independent life, and then the children treat them as a piece of shit where the parents have to take appointments to see them or have a coffee with them.. latest trend… and the sickest of all…and I rightly say, we would feel the pain only when we become a parent….
A couple in love, having unprotected sex, girl getting pregnant, not having the courage to face the world with this right now, aborts the child , kills it before its born..one has never the right to take someones life…atleast not when the mistake is urs…
A couple in love, having sex, girl getting pregnant, want to have the child, but due to complications, got to choose between the girl’s life and the child’s life…unfortunately got to kill the life within her , a reason which could have been her source of happiness for the entire whole life, living in this darkness of guilt forever, killing her everyday from inside….
A girl getting raped, bearing a child of an unknown person…still bringing the child out into the world…. The child cursing her for not knowing who his father is…for he is called a bastard by his friends….a mother who would curse tht moment when she decided to still have him inspite of everyone closing their doors on her and secluding her form the normal society norms.
A girl getting raped, bearing a child and then forsaking it to avoid raising fingers at her…not knowing to what circumstances the baby would grow into ,not being there to feed him with her milk, not being there with him to hold his fingers to help him walk, not being there to watch him grow…would she ever be able to forgive what she has done…
A woman bearing a child who is born with a retarded brain….im not sure if she would love the baby more, or curse it , if the baby is a burden or liability or her unfulfilled wish for happiness and peace
when I was a child, I always used to tell my mom that I would feel complete when I become a mother as that’s when your life as a woman has had its purpose … to bear a new life within you, to be able to do that , to be privileged to do that…I think one must have a child, when one is ready for it.. not when people say we are ready for it…in Indian culture, people want to see children from married couples in ten months of marriage or else something is wrong… there is no value for education, career or anything for that matter when it comes to a women bearing a child ….
Im also surprised when people are upset to have dark skinned babies, or girl babies when they were expecting boys or viceversa…isn’t it so much better that the child is born healthy and live….
People never appreciate what they have in life…until they know the value of what they have…
A woman who has no time for her children coz she has to attend the kitty parties will never understand the pain of a woman who could never bear a child ….
A woman who has a fully healthy child who comes second in class will never understand the tears of a woman whose child is starving and fighting with death everyday….
A woman whose career always fell first before her kids will never understand the miles walked by a woman begging in the streets to get a piece of bread for her child to be alive for just that one more night…
A woman who always gifts her children with expensive gifts will never be able to see the tears dried up on the cheeks of a woman whose child takes up a gun as their first toy…
A woman who is a supermodel whose figure and diet matters the most will never be able to grieve with a husband whose wife’s last wish was to have the baby even if it kills her….
Let us rise in the moral power of womanhood; and give utterance to the voice of outraged mercy, and insulted justice, and eternal truth, and mighty love and holy freedom. Let all the women be blessed by being a mother coz there is no other job which gets a better pay…the payment of pure love…Motherhood , a phase of womanhood, has a very humanizing effect coz everything else gets reduced to essentials then ….
And I look around and im amazed by how this blessing is used, misused and spoilt .
Lets take some situations….
A couple who is married and plans for a child …. But not blessed with one… the woman’s mind is like a turmoil every single moment she lives… coz she knows she is not going to bear a child in her womb ever in this life..she is not going to be happy as every other woman can be…she cannot hold her baby close to her body and be a proud mother….be a complete woman…
A couple , happily married, has children, looks after them , make them responsible enough to lead an independent life, and then the children treat them as a piece of shit where the parents have to take appointments to see them or have a coffee with them.. latest trend… and the sickest of all…and I rightly say, we would feel the pain only when we become a parent….
A couple in love, having unprotected sex, girl getting pregnant, not having the courage to face the world with this right now, aborts the child , kills it before its born..one has never the right to take someones life…atleast not when the mistake is urs…
A couple in love, having sex, girl getting pregnant, want to have the child, but due to complications, got to choose between the girl’s life and the child’s life…unfortunately got to kill the life within her , a reason which could have been her source of happiness for the entire whole life, living in this darkness of guilt forever, killing her everyday from inside….
A girl getting raped, bearing a child of an unknown person…still bringing the child out into the world…. The child cursing her for not knowing who his father is…for he is called a bastard by his friends….a mother who would curse tht moment when she decided to still have him inspite of everyone closing their doors on her and secluding her form the normal society norms.
A girl getting raped, bearing a child and then forsaking it to avoid raising fingers at her…not knowing to what circumstances the baby would grow into ,not being there to feed him with her milk, not being there with him to hold his fingers to help him walk, not being there to watch him grow…would she ever be able to forgive what she has done…
A woman bearing a child who is born with a retarded brain….im not sure if she would love the baby more, or curse it , if the baby is a burden or liability or her unfulfilled wish for happiness and peace
when I was a child, I always used to tell my mom that I would feel complete when I become a mother as that’s when your life as a woman has had its purpose … to bear a new life within you, to be able to do that , to be privileged to do that…I think one must have a child, when one is ready for it.. not when people say we are ready for it…in Indian culture, people want to see children from married couples in ten months of marriage or else something is wrong… there is no value for education, career or anything for that matter when it comes to a women bearing a child ….
Im also surprised when people are upset to have dark skinned babies, or girl babies when they were expecting boys or viceversa…isn’t it so much better that the child is born healthy and live….
People never appreciate what they have in life…until they know the value of what they have…
A woman who has no time for her children coz she has to attend the kitty parties will never understand the pain of a woman who could never bear a child ….
A woman who has a fully healthy child who comes second in class will never understand the tears of a woman whose child is starving and fighting with death everyday….
A woman whose career always fell first before her kids will never understand the miles walked by a woman begging in the streets to get a piece of bread for her child to be alive for just that one more night…
A woman who always gifts her children with expensive gifts will never be able to see the tears dried up on the cheeks of a woman whose child takes up a gun as their first toy…
A woman who is a supermodel whose figure and diet matters the most will never be able to grieve with a husband whose wife’s last wish was to have the baby even if it kills her….
Let us rise in the moral power of womanhood; and give utterance to the voice of outraged mercy, and insulted justice, and eternal truth, and mighty love and holy freedom. Let all the women be blessed by being a mother coz there is no other job which gets a better pay…the payment of pure love…Motherhood , a phase of womanhood, has a very humanizing effect coz everything else gets reduced to essentials then ….
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
LOVE....
The first time when the eyes interlock , when the heart beats faster, when you take time to make sure that you look beautiful and dressed up, when you search for that someone in the crowd, when you get worried when you don’t hear from someone for even a day, when you get angry when you see him share a joke with some other girl, when you listen to all kinds of songs but can imagine them to be sung only for u and him…. U r in love…first love….
Its like the first rain in the monsoon….fresh….have u ever felt the smell of the earth when the first rain pours down…its just like that … we would feel like getting drenched in it..the first love is similar..we would want it to just get washed away in it…float somewhere in the clouds and be in your little fantasy world…where everything is like how you imagine it to be…. Its so beautiful….
But do people fall in love only once..and if not, were they lying when they said they were in love before…
I can just say that being in love is the most wonderful feeling of all.. to love and to be loved is the greatest gift of all….i personally don’t think people can fall in love just once…in different ages, the way we think, what we want all differs… so does love….When you were a kid and loved Barbie, and when u grew up and loved your iphone…you were not lying when u said u loved Barbie…were you…
When we become older, our understanding about the real world also grows…what we want in life changes, priorities differ… for a seventeen year old girl, love is to spend maximum time with each other…for a girl in her twenties, its probably more physical closeness… for a woman in thirties, it is the security of her future…. And so on ….
It can also happen that people never find their true love until so late in life.. and then what happens…?? Think of a situation when you find that real someone special, your prince charming when you are a mother of two… its not coz you don’t love your husband and children… but probably you were drawn to this person coz hes what you have always wanted in your life. So are you cheating someone…your family, your new found love or yourself…
Should you forsake all your future happiness coz u now have a family…. Or should you go live with this person with whom lies ur true happiness, with whom you can be yourself and with whom you see all your dreams coming true ….. I know that most of us will say how can she do it to her family….after so long, how can she forsake all of it… she must just forget abt this new guy…and continue how she was …What if a man fell into the same situation… would he do the same and stay with his family or decide to live with his true happiness…and usually when a man decides to go to his new girl, people would say, its better he chose it over his family… he was never happy you know…..lol
And what if a woman falls into this situation just after marriage…I mean….now she is legally bound with someone and then comes to know of a person who she really wanted to spend her lifetime with.. I know of women who have chosen to stay back with their family coz of their culture rusting from inside, but smiling in the outside… never actually happy in life… I also know of women who have taken the bolder step and said, people would talk for sometime if I go with the other man… but why shld I care.. im the one who is responsible for my happiness…when I know that I can never be happy with my husband, why should I spoil my life being unhappy, his life faking happiness to him , and the new persons life by not being with him…..
so is this the solution….i don’t know… love could come in any form, at any time…we should just keep our eyes open..sometimes the person is always next to us, but we never see… sometimes we know who the right person is , but we never say… sometimes we confess our love to the right person, but its too late….love cant be fair always… and lucky are those who in love are also together…in every sense…. There are so many who love each other madly but cant be together for whatever reason it should be…
People, please realize the importance of love in your life…love is what could create and destroy lives…
if you haven’t found someone you are looking for, first look beside you before you look any further… if you haven’t said those special words to the person, say it out, never wil have the regret that she never knew… if you have said the special words to the person but he/she never could return it back to you, please don’t give up coz the love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned..
one of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else… some people don’t complain..coz for them love is defined by the other’s happiness… some people retaliate, thinking they have lost their game…and some people fight coz their love is too precious to be let gone atleast without a fight for it….
I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you, love is wanting to spend a lifetime with each other being content in what one could give each other, love is to let go, to conquer, to submit, to apologise, to fight for, to live life to the fullest…
Its like the first rain in the monsoon….fresh….have u ever felt the smell of the earth when the first rain pours down…its just like that … we would feel like getting drenched in it..the first love is similar..we would want it to just get washed away in it…float somewhere in the clouds and be in your little fantasy world…where everything is like how you imagine it to be…. Its so beautiful….
But do people fall in love only once..and if not, were they lying when they said they were in love before…
I can just say that being in love is the most wonderful feeling of all.. to love and to be loved is the greatest gift of all….i personally don’t think people can fall in love just once…in different ages, the way we think, what we want all differs… so does love….When you were a kid and loved Barbie, and when u grew up and loved your iphone…you were not lying when u said u loved Barbie…were you…
When we become older, our understanding about the real world also grows…what we want in life changes, priorities differ… for a seventeen year old girl, love is to spend maximum time with each other…for a girl in her twenties, its probably more physical closeness… for a woman in thirties, it is the security of her future…. And so on ….
It can also happen that people never find their true love until so late in life.. and then what happens…?? Think of a situation when you find that real someone special, your prince charming when you are a mother of two… its not coz you don’t love your husband and children… but probably you were drawn to this person coz hes what you have always wanted in your life. So are you cheating someone…your family, your new found love or yourself…
Should you forsake all your future happiness coz u now have a family…. Or should you go live with this person with whom lies ur true happiness, with whom you can be yourself and with whom you see all your dreams coming true ….. I know that most of us will say how can she do it to her family….after so long, how can she forsake all of it… she must just forget abt this new guy…and continue how she was …What if a man fell into the same situation… would he do the same and stay with his family or decide to live with his true happiness…and usually when a man decides to go to his new girl, people would say, its better he chose it over his family… he was never happy you know…..lol
And what if a woman falls into this situation just after marriage…I mean….now she is legally bound with someone and then comes to know of a person who she really wanted to spend her lifetime with.. I know of women who have chosen to stay back with their family coz of their culture rusting from inside, but smiling in the outside… never actually happy in life… I also know of women who have taken the bolder step and said, people would talk for sometime if I go with the other man… but why shld I care.. im the one who is responsible for my happiness…when I know that I can never be happy with my husband, why should I spoil my life being unhappy, his life faking happiness to him , and the new persons life by not being with him…..
so is this the solution….i don’t know… love could come in any form, at any time…we should just keep our eyes open..sometimes the person is always next to us, but we never see… sometimes we know who the right person is , but we never say… sometimes we confess our love to the right person, but its too late….love cant be fair always… and lucky are those who in love are also together…in every sense…. There are so many who love each other madly but cant be together for whatever reason it should be…
People, please realize the importance of love in your life…love is what could create and destroy lives…
if you haven’t found someone you are looking for, first look beside you before you look any further… if you haven’t said those special words to the person, say it out, never wil have the regret that she never knew… if you have said the special words to the person but he/she never could return it back to you, please don’t give up coz the love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned..
one of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else… some people don’t complain..coz for them love is defined by the other’s happiness… some people retaliate, thinking they have lost their game…and some people fight coz their love is too precious to be let gone atleast without a fight for it….
I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you, love is wanting to spend a lifetime with each other being content in what one could give each other, love is to let go, to conquer, to submit, to apologise, to fight for, to live life to the fullest…
Monday, June 21, 2010
Relationships...
To fall into a relationship is much more easier than to maintain them….im sure everyone has experienced them…..Lets start with the basics… An expecting woman can start a relationship with the new life in her womb… it becomes harder through years to prove to be a good mother…A newly wed wife and husband can start a relationship with the bond of marriage….it becomes harder through years to prove your love, respect and dutiful nature towards staying thru thick and thin….A newly joined student can start a relationship with a student sitting beside him… it becomes harder through years to stay in contact and cherish the years when you were alone on a bench and he came to share his tiffin with you…
We sometimes have an unknown relation to some people in the world….maybe a person whom we see daily on our way to work, but never spoken a word to …. Or maybe a person whom we talk to as our client but don’t know how he/she is actually like…. Or maybe a person whom we have only heard of, and some of their deeds just make a mark in our life…..Its sometimes difficult to explain some relations…. Have you ever imagined why some relations are so simple at times and yet so complicated… have you ever had a friend whom you had fallen in love with but never told them in fear of losing them…..have you ever had a lover whom you loved so much that you decided to breakup with him for him to have a better life….
In everyones life, comes that one person , that one relationship…. One cant give it a name or say who he/she is to us ….. but just because it is so … life feels better… more complete. We find a lot of people who travel with us in life in a limo , cherish those relations who also travel with you in a bus when the limo breaks down…there are times when two people need to step apart, its because they are not perfect …. But then let them stay not so far away, coz inspite of all their imperfections, they bring the best out in you as they are perfect for you….
Relationships are always an important part of life. And I mean all relationships - friendship, love, marriage, relationship by choice, relationship by birth. Learn what makes them tick, why they sometimes go wrong, what one can do about it, and why they are so precious.
We sometimes have an unknown relation to some people in the world….maybe a person whom we see daily on our way to work, but never spoken a word to …. Or maybe a person whom we talk to as our client but don’t know how he/she is actually like…. Or maybe a person whom we have only heard of, and some of their deeds just make a mark in our life…..Its sometimes difficult to explain some relations…. Have you ever imagined why some relations are so simple at times and yet so complicated… have you ever had a friend whom you had fallen in love with but never told them in fear of losing them…..have you ever had a lover whom you loved so much that you decided to breakup with him for him to have a better life….
In everyones life, comes that one person , that one relationship…. One cant give it a name or say who he/she is to us ….. but just because it is so … life feels better… more complete. We find a lot of people who travel with us in life in a limo , cherish those relations who also travel with you in a bus when the limo breaks down…there are times when two people need to step apart, its because they are not perfect …. But then let them stay not so far away, coz inspite of all their imperfections, they bring the best out in you as they are perfect for you….
Relationships are always an important part of life. And I mean all relationships - friendship, love, marriage, relationship by choice, relationship by birth. Learn what makes them tick, why they sometimes go wrong, what one can do about it, and why they are so precious.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
impacts on life
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
Charles R Swindoll
when given a chance to write, i would have written absolutely the same text ....
life plays its strangest games with us... sometimes we are at the mercy of the situation, sometimes at the mercy of our thinking-childishness, maturity, madness, anger....
it takes a split of a second to make or break a name, a tradition, a trust, a relation....sometimes,what we do can have effects on our lives later... and not necessarily only on our lives... but also on others lives... or on lives of whom we love..
what happens when a right decision taken once looks wrong later? what happens when a good deed from you turns out to be a curse for the other? what if your helping hand drowns the other person in misery?what if your sacrifice holds no value for the person whom you made the sacrifice for?
a lot of ifs, buts,what, why .... questions never answered.... prayers that are not heard, deeds which are forgotten,smiles wiped away ....and so dream as you will live forever and live as if you will die today .... coz when one decides on how to satisfy ones own inner conscience, then all questions are answered, all prayers are heard, all deeds remembered and smiles to be spread always ...
Charles R Swindoll
when given a chance to write, i would have written absolutely the same text ....
life plays its strangest games with us... sometimes we are at the mercy of the situation, sometimes at the mercy of our thinking-childishness, maturity, madness, anger....
it takes a split of a second to make or break a name, a tradition, a trust, a relation....sometimes,what we do can have effects on our lives later... and not necessarily only on our lives... but also on others lives... or on lives of whom we love..
what happens when a right decision taken once looks wrong later? what happens when a good deed from you turns out to be a curse for the other? what if your helping hand drowns the other person in misery?what if your sacrifice holds no value for the person whom you made the sacrifice for?
a lot of ifs, buts,what, why .... questions never answered.... prayers that are not heard, deeds which are forgotten,smiles wiped away ....and so dream as you will live forever and live as if you will die today .... coz when one decides on how to satisfy ones own inner conscience, then all questions are answered, all prayers are heard, all deeds remembered and smiles to be spread always ...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
marriage and friendships
until marriage....be it for a boy or for a girl...friends mean a world to them....
u wanna discuss something, u wanna go out for movie, or u just want to share a youtube video.... u just think of ur friends...
then one gets married...and everything suddenly changes....
most of the indian girls get confined to their family life then ..new adjustments, new compromises, new sacrifices....they lose touch with their friends...
most indian guys also go through the same phase.. but they somehow are in touch with their old friends...still hang out with them...
so wht is different here....
i think its very necessary to give each one some space... so that they dont have to completely leave out their old world when entering into the new married world... i know of some of my male friends who dreaded marriage thinking their their new wives wouldnt let them hang out like before and they would lose touch with their old friends circle...
wouldnt it be better to have a balance... maybe to include ur wife also in these social gatherings..and to reduce the number of hang outs so that you can also spend time with family...it is also imporatnt that one gets such a prtner who is able to understand the values of the partners' friends...
i have a lot of friends ... but 3 friends without whom i cannot live...and my husband had a circle of friends whom he used to meet up with every second day before marriage happened...
when we got married...it was kind of blending into each others lives... i couldnt see my close friends anymore as i was residing in a different country then , but always kept in touch thru calls and chats and mails...and also told my hus abt wht was happening in their lives...and i easily merged into my husbands group of friends too...it was happy to see tht they also accepted me into the group...we meet very often with them, not as regular as before marriage but more than adequate and i make it a point to meet my friends when i go back to india...
so for us, life didnt change in regards to friends... but yes... i did lose some friends during the course of time when they found no time to keep in touch after marriage... but then one cannot expect everyones life to be as i would wish it to be...
im glad and thankful.... that our friendships could still remain after marriage... one might not think this as an important part of life... but it plays an important part when one gets out of the fantasy period of marriage... one starts to miss ones friends... and then one realizes how important it is to have a balance between friends and married life.
u wanna discuss something, u wanna go out for movie, or u just want to share a youtube video.... u just think of ur friends...
then one gets married...and everything suddenly changes....
most of the indian girls get confined to their family life then ..new adjustments, new compromises, new sacrifices....they lose touch with their friends...
most indian guys also go through the same phase.. but they somehow are in touch with their old friends...still hang out with them...
so wht is different here....
i think its very necessary to give each one some space... so that they dont have to completely leave out their old world when entering into the new married world... i know of some of my male friends who dreaded marriage thinking their their new wives wouldnt let them hang out like before and they would lose touch with their old friends circle...
wouldnt it be better to have a balance... maybe to include ur wife also in these social gatherings..and to reduce the number of hang outs so that you can also spend time with family...it is also imporatnt that one gets such a prtner who is able to understand the values of the partners' friends...
i have a lot of friends ... but 3 friends without whom i cannot live...and my husband had a circle of friends whom he used to meet up with every second day before marriage happened...
when we got married...it was kind of blending into each others lives... i couldnt see my close friends anymore as i was residing in a different country then , but always kept in touch thru calls and chats and mails...and also told my hus abt wht was happening in their lives...and i easily merged into my husbands group of friends too...it was happy to see tht they also accepted me into the group...we meet very often with them, not as regular as before marriage but more than adequate and i make it a point to meet my friends when i go back to india...
so for us, life didnt change in regards to friends... but yes... i did lose some friends during the course of time when they found no time to keep in touch after marriage... but then one cannot expect everyones life to be as i would wish it to be...
im glad and thankful.... that our friendships could still remain after marriage... one might not think this as an important part of life... but it plays an important part when one gets out of the fantasy period of marriage... one starts to miss ones friends... and then one realizes how important it is to have a balance between friends and married life.
Monday, April 26, 2010
board exmas and its terror...
Its that time of the year when students eagerly wait for their tenth or twelth grade exam results .My brother has written his entrance exams now and is waiting for his results too…and I think back of the times when I was waiting for my Tenth results…the moment is still as fresh as it happened yesterday…
I was a bright student and one of the top rankers in my class, but unlike most of the other toppers I was not as hard working…and so my mom always told me to work harder as people have high expectations..she told me that I should score more than 90% in my board exams (90 % then was a very high score and mostly impossible to get) , and I was sure I will never get it….hehe
The day the results were coming, we had chemistry first year quarterly exams, and although nothing about the results could go tht wrong, I was dead nervous…it was like my pen wouldn’t just tilt on the paper….and so I could say tht even if the results came good or bad, I was sure to fail in the exam I was then writing…hehe
And then somebody said tht the results were put on …and I still remember that I just wanted to fly away or just disappear from there…. I told the teacher tht I finshed writing and need to go out .. but she said I have to wait until the bell is given… and I swear I was so angry tht I thought I would hit her.. and then finally the bell rang and I ran out of the class… just realizing moments later tht my heart was pounding out of my chest and tht my feet were so numb to walk further..i finally made it to the noticeboard where the results were put out… and my little sister also found her way out near me and started to search the notice board for my marks… and since I was so confident tht I wouldn’t top , I started my way up the list from the last name ….and my nervousness took full control that I just couldn’t find my name in the list..lol… I thought I had failed…and my sister shouted saying that im the third highest scorer in my batch…. I couldn’t believe what I heard.. and couldn’t believe what I saw after that …my percentage was 91.4%...and I had achieved what I never thought was possible..
And then my best friend chai also came though and saw tht she had also performed really well… and what we did after that was quite embarrassing to think of now … but for us, at tht moment, I didn’t think anything a t all mattered…. We hugged each other so tight and started shouting and dancing at the centre of the school ground…. We knew there were lots of strange looks …. But who cared….we were on top of the world and that’s all what mattered… I had made my parents proud and for me
I had achieved the IMPOSSIBLE…..
I was a bright student and one of the top rankers in my class, but unlike most of the other toppers I was not as hard working…and so my mom always told me to work harder as people have high expectations..she told me that I should score more than 90% in my board exams (90 % then was a very high score and mostly impossible to get) , and I was sure I will never get it….hehe
The day the results were coming, we had chemistry first year quarterly exams, and although nothing about the results could go tht wrong, I was dead nervous…it was like my pen wouldn’t just tilt on the paper….and so I could say tht even if the results came good or bad, I was sure to fail in the exam I was then writing…hehe
And then somebody said tht the results were put on …and I still remember that I just wanted to fly away or just disappear from there…. I told the teacher tht I finshed writing and need to go out .. but she said I have to wait until the bell is given… and I swear I was so angry tht I thought I would hit her.. and then finally the bell rang and I ran out of the class… just realizing moments later tht my heart was pounding out of my chest and tht my feet were so numb to walk further..i finally made it to the noticeboard where the results were put out… and my little sister also found her way out near me and started to search the notice board for my marks… and since I was so confident tht I wouldn’t top , I started my way up the list from the last name ….and my nervousness took full control that I just couldn’t find my name in the list..lol… I thought I had failed…and my sister shouted saying that im the third highest scorer in my batch…. I couldn’t believe what I heard.. and couldn’t believe what I saw after that …my percentage was 91.4%...and I had achieved what I never thought was possible..
And then my best friend chai also came though and saw tht she had also performed really well… and what we did after that was quite embarrassing to think of now … but for us, at tht moment, I didn’t think anything a t all mattered…. We hugged each other so tight and started shouting and dancing at the centre of the school ground…. We knew there were lots of strange looks …. But who cared….we were on top of the world and that’s all what mattered… I had made my parents proud and for me
I had achieved the IMPOSSIBLE…..
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Happiness in bounds
Happiness can be defined differently for different people.
For a mother, it could be the birth of her child whom she had in her womb for 9 months. For a father it could be the graduation of his son after which he is going to make his father’s dream come true.For some others, it could be getting their daily bread. For others it could be living without fear of getting raped or molested. For some it could be a thought that their loved ones have survived through a day at war. For others it could be when their son has come back home alive after being at the war.
I have never tried to run behind happiness in my life.. never felt the need to … I had always thanked God for what he has given me and I have learnt to be content, to compare with people who are less privileged and less fortunate than Im .
I come from a part of India where being fair skinned mattered. And I used to be very upset that I was not fair also taking into fact that I was born to very fair skinned parents. My grief just grew when my sister was born fairer ..she looked like an angel… and I envied her for years…Through my early teenage, I think I grew darker coz of my darker thoughts… I always wanted to be fair.. and also used to try most of the fancy face creams which claim to make us fairer.
Once I was travelling by train in India, and saw a girl in the next compartment…. She was beautiful , fair and any one would have looked twice at her without doubt. Her Hair covered a part of her face and when the wind blew it off… my heart ran through a chill. The other part of her face was burnt. She had bruises over the eyes and forehead… and if someone looked at her from that end, they would have just said…ughhhhh. i went up to her and asked her what had happened and how bad she felt after the accident.she told me that she was not sad, but happy instead. The accident was terrible and she was happy to survive after that . she lost her parents , but somebody had rescued her little brother. And so she was happy to be alive for him , to be able to take care of him. Usually people after listening to her story would have sympathized with her. But for me, it was a new chapter in my life. A feeling that one has to be beautiful from inside, not outside. One has to be fair from within too.It changed my life forever… I have never felt the need to be fair after that ...after all it takes God just a split of a second to take away all that he has gifted.
The incident had made me live again and made me very realize that Im beautiful the way Im. I was glad to overcome what I thought was my biggest grief.i smiled to myself… I was happy …..
For a mother, it could be the birth of her child whom she had in her womb for 9 months. For a father it could be the graduation of his son after which he is going to make his father’s dream come true.For some others, it could be getting their daily bread. For others it could be living without fear of getting raped or molested. For some it could be a thought that their loved ones have survived through a day at war. For others it could be when their son has come back home alive after being at the war.
I have never tried to run behind happiness in my life.. never felt the need to … I had always thanked God for what he has given me and I have learnt to be content, to compare with people who are less privileged and less fortunate than Im .
I come from a part of India where being fair skinned mattered. And I used to be very upset that I was not fair also taking into fact that I was born to very fair skinned parents. My grief just grew when my sister was born fairer ..she looked like an angel… and I envied her for years…Through my early teenage, I think I grew darker coz of my darker thoughts… I always wanted to be fair.. and also used to try most of the fancy face creams which claim to make us fairer.
Once I was travelling by train in India, and saw a girl in the next compartment…. She was beautiful , fair and any one would have looked twice at her without doubt. Her Hair covered a part of her face and when the wind blew it off… my heart ran through a chill. The other part of her face was burnt. She had bruises over the eyes and forehead… and if someone looked at her from that end, they would have just said…ughhhhh. i went up to her and asked her what had happened and how bad she felt after the accident.she told me that she was not sad, but happy instead. The accident was terrible and she was happy to survive after that . she lost her parents , but somebody had rescued her little brother. And so she was happy to be alive for him , to be able to take care of him. Usually people after listening to her story would have sympathized with her. But for me, it was a new chapter in my life. A feeling that one has to be beautiful from inside, not outside. One has to be fair from within too.It changed my life forever… I have never felt the need to be fair after that ...after all it takes God just a split of a second to take away all that he has gifted.
The incident had made me live again and made me very realize that Im beautiful the way Im. I was glad to overcome what I thought was my biggest grief.i smiled to myself… I was happy …..
Monday, April 12, 2010
Girl seeing ritual for weddings in india
I have always wondered why is there a ritual in india for the guy and his family to come and see the girl for selecting her for marriage.. I mean it sounds worse than writing an exam… one might get so bloody nervous… I mean u dress up for the “show” and then the guy comes with his family for the interview…
I guess how much nervous/anxious the guy could be at this point. And I have heard my friends and cousins say that they ask very strange questions…whats your name, how far did ur education take you, do you know how to cook….I have also heard strange things like they make you walk , talk and sometimes even sing… I mean … pathetic…
I was also wondering what would I do in such a situation….but you know what … god had something totally different in store for me… I had to go through a language test…. Lol….My husband wanted to know if I really knew the languages that I had written on my biodata, and so he was very frank about it and asked me to speak in different languages…hahha… it was a lot of fun… in two ways… coz this was something completely unexpected and I knew I was succeeding in my point that I really did know the languages… I mean it was like a virtual first win over my husband…lol… and thank god that all of this conversation was thru the phone.. it was like a phone interview…and so didn’t have much difficulty when he really came to see me in person….
But I guess its high time now that the system changes… I mean girls must also get the privilege to go and see different guys.. and ask them stupid questions and check out their talents…lol…. I just wish the time comes soon …..
Saturday, April 10, 2010
U n ME
thinking of writing my first blog abt the most important people in my life .....hmmm
whom to start with...my father who always taught to look ahead in life or my mother who always taught to fight problems and always to do the right thing..., my sister who always was my inspiration of hard work or my brother who always taught me how to keep cool even in the toughest situation..., my friends who were always far from me... but always at a thought away, in sorrows and joys...,my past relationships which taught me tht family values are more important than anything else in the world...,my husband who redefined the word LOVE for me... who taught me that love is above the romantic candle night dinners and the shahrukh dialogues ...its about caring , sharing and understanding the real you....or those angels that GOD sents us when we cant share something with any of these people...like a light at the end of the tunnel or like a spook of sunlight through the dark and grey clouds.....
i really cant say who was more important ...i just have started believing that everyone comes into ones life for some reason... a reason sometimes so evident and sometimes so vague which becomes clear only when the time is right...we are all mere puppets .... like kites in skies...sometimes coming close...sometimes far....sometimes forgetting we are at the mercy of someone else who holds the strings...
whom to start with...my father who always taught to look ahead in life or my mother who always taught to fight problems and always to do the right thing..., my sister who always was my inspiration of hard work or my brother who always taught me how to keep cool even in the toughest situation..., my friends who were always far from me... but always at a thought away, in sorrows and joys...,my past relationships which taught me tht family values are more important than anything else in the world...,my husband who redefined the word LOVE for me... who taught me that love is above the romantic candle night dinners and the shahrukh dialogues ...its about caring , sharing and understanding the real you....or those angels that GOD sents us when we cant share something with any of these people...like a light at the end of the tunnel or like a spook of sunlight through the dark and grey clouds.....
i really cant say who was more important ...i just have started believing that everyone comes into ones life for some reason... a reason sometimes so evident and sometimes so vague which becomes clear only when the time is right...we are all mere puppets .... like kites in skies...sometimes coming close...sometimes far....sometimes forgetting we are at the mercy of someone else who holds the strings...
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